Hi Friends!
It’s been forever, and I’m sorry about that. I’m excited to be back with you. The best I can do for a segue from the last letter is to tell you about my octopus.
After watching the inspiring My Octopus Teacher last year, I wanted a stuffed animal for my living room, and of course Amazon had some. It arrived 3 days later with the most terrifying glass eyes. Like if you look directly into them, you might get possessed. It wasn’t a home decor vibe that screamed relaxing. But instead of returning him for some other sorry sucker to get scared by, I took Octopus to campus. Specifically I took him to the office of religious and spiritual life, where the good juju there could influence his sinister streak. (And got this nice sea creature coffee table book for home instead.)
Octopus perched on the back of my orange office couch, and over time told me secrets from the deep. What it’s meant for the last 500 million years to really live. The three I can share with you without breaching confidentiality are:
Embrace weirdness. When we call something “weird,” we usually mean “novel” or “unfamiliar.” Weird is relative to what we’re used to. Humans are “weird” to Octopus because he’s rarely (until now) around humans. What’s “weird” does not mean it’s bad or dangerous—it could be a portal into a magical new friendship or world. In her book Weird, Olga Khazan talks about how living out of our weirdness can be a superpower that adds richness and balance to our shared world. All I know is that Octopus draws students to himself at every event precisely because he’s the one thing that “doesn’t belong” on a sea of tables with USC logos, cardinal and gold.
Be choosy where you walk. We have near limitless opportunities to move through digital worlds, art worlds, and more than ever, physical locations. Beyond leaving your own footprints in all these spaces (and what kind of footprints do you hope to leave?), imagine that you have suction cups covering your feet…and you carry with you the images, feelings, pace of everywhere you walk. At the end of the day, I often feel cluttered and confused with the residue of being in too many places and often places that make no sense. I’m trying to be more choosy and pick up less, thanks to Octopus.
Aim for integration. Each semester I to speak to an undergrad class at USC called THRIVE, which is about what you’d imagine. I teach the “connection” session, or did up until this autumn when I brought Octopus, put him on the podium as our guru and then sat on the stage to share what I’d learned from him. I pointed to the fact that octopuses (octopi?!) are one of nature’s perfect models of wellbeing: of integrating the parts of ourselves and parts of our lives so that it feels we have ONE self, ONE life is balanced, anchored in our values, and pulling in the same direction towards our purposes. Octopus has eight arms, but rather than feeling divided into eight octopi or pulled in eight directions by various responsibilities and desires, Octopus in one whole water weirdo accomplishing his submarine goals.
Cephalopod Gifts!
Here’s a printable daily or weekly to-do list organizer from Octopus. You put an intention (if you live in LA and say that) or “to-be” priority in the center… like “patient,” “kind,” “focused.” Then the arms hopefully carry your specific to-dos out from that disposition.
Here’s a Reminder Card (write on reverse) to help you get it right in confusing times!
Sending eight hugs from the belonging frontier,
Cat
P.S.—According to humans who study hugs, we need 4/day for survival, 8/day for maintenance, and 12/day for thriving. So go get and give four more:)
P.S.2 - In October I’m starting to offer monthly online experiences around connection and belonging, if you want to join in. More details soon:)